Find the best in your friend, tell them and don't be surprised if they live up to it.

I was sitting on the benches outside the kitchen where I usually met Donna. There were about 15 people gathering. It was a large kitchen designed to feed hundreds of people. It was up a long hill. There were rows of benches outside under an awning. It was a bright sunny day. As was my custom, I asked her how she was. Usually she would sit down and begin to complain for about 5-10 minutes and I would listen.

She had a pattern of doing this and it seemed very comforting to her. I knew a bit about patterns and how hard they were to change and also I enjoyed her complaints to some extent. So I would always listen. This time things were different. The night before she was included in a group that was told they were spiritually advanced.

I mischievously asked, "How are you?"
She had the light in her eyes that began a long series of complaints, but this time she surprised me.
"Fine," she said.

And you know from then on things changed. She stopped complaining and began to turn her attention to helping others. A very tiny intervention: telling her that she was spiritually advanced created a very large effect.

Deep respect can bring great change.